Bolest je melodie a radost je tanec

I hope your spirit receives this. I never spoke a word of it to anyone. You have no idea what you have meant to me my whole entire woke life. Coming from a family where love was assumed but felt a like forced obligation. Told I was big lipped and ugly by my mother.  Made to feel like a unwanted burden. An introverted, shy kid. Always felt on the outside. Not really connecting to anyone other than my beloved grandmother who left too soon. But you Michael. You were always there, to give me an escape from my all to real reality. All I had to comfort me was you and my imagination.

The pain, confusion, the  beatings, the sadness, the loneliness  would always subside at the sound of your voice. You would take me so far away. You were my 1st dance partner, my best friend, my boyfriend. We would dance in the alley behind my house, in my room, where ever I can be alone. We jammed to Thriller, Rock With You, PYT, Billie Jean. And when that whacked Billie Jean answer song came out. oh we laughed so hard sitting on my bed eating candy, drinking soda pop. Our tummys were full of laughter and candy. lol.. You always caught my tears of pain and turned them into tears of laughter

I told you everything Michael. All my secrets. and You never told anyone. Sometimes We would dance all night. We wore out that Thriller cassette lol.  We made the perfect dance couple. Like Ginger Rogers and Fred Astaire.

I grew up to be quite the looker. Quite the dancer. Thanks to practicing with you in my bedroom. lol. There were some loves, but never connections. Just momentary spacefillers from the emptiness. I would often come back to visit you. When you dropped Remember the Time, of course I thought that was EXCLUSIVELY FOR ME.  When all that evilness came for you. I know this sounds weird but I wasn't worried. Bcuz I didn't believe you didn't do it. I KNEW YOU DIDN'T. BELIEVING AND KNOWING ARE VASTLY two different things. I KNOW MY  BEST FRIEND  is COMPLETELY Void of evil. I just wanted you to be strong enough to see it thru. And you were. The verdict was as I expected. But to me you never received JUSTICE or peace.. I hated what you were going thru. Again life went on.. . Now a grown woman still searching for what I was looking for as a child. Unconditional love. I broke some hearts, some harder hearts broke mine. Married then divorced. I had 3 beautiful children. Now adults. I  Gave them the gift of unconditional love. And  you were.. Singing One more chance.. Oh so beautiful. Love the video. How you put the fans onstage. I said Michael just don't know.. Im a grown woman now..

You announced your final curtain call. I was sp excited. I didn't care the cost. Im going to see my baby.

Then one day the earth cracked, my chest burst,
Some crazy man talking about Michael Jackson died. What!!??? You said what?? Hell Nah.. No I refused..

When you died, I didn't mourn you, I couldn't. I was in shock, I said well Mike doesn't even know I exist. I was so angry at you. For putting your life in jeopardy. Your beautiful babies. To go thru this life without you.  I went numb. I refuse to acknowledge  the mourning of the world. I wasn't and couldn't say goodbye to my childhood best friend. I wouldn't say goodbye. I couldn't.

Things I hadn't thought about in years, decades even.. Everything came rushing back. All the times you comforted me. All the times my body was aching in pain from beatings, my face buried in tears in my pillow. And you would suddenly appear on the radio. (Got me working day n night) Thriller night) As if you knew I needed you. Beckoning me to  to leave the present and go away with you to our land. The Land of Music. And we will dance until it didn't hurt anymore. Until it was forgotten. And it was forgotten for a very, very long time.

I couldn't let go, Now I guess I'm ready. Not to let go. But to thank you for always being there Michael. Always dancing with me. Always bringing fantasy alive. Always giving me a place to escape. Music. Thank you Michael. Bcuz of you giving me a place to escape to. I didn't grow up bitter or angry. Thank you for giving me the confidence to unleash my beast, my sexy. You helped me to maintain my innocence so I can love unconditionally, generously void of anger and bitterness. Thank you for giving me the courage not to think myself strange or ugly. My only regret is I never got the chance to be there for you, when you were hurting. So, I guess I'll see you in our land, The Land of Music, where pain are melodies and joy is a dance.  Thank you my friend. My love,  I love you. Always. YouTube komentář od Queen Empress, 2018